Little Human and Me

I’m not the parental type.  I have no children, nor any desire to have my own little humans.  Normally, I shy away from little humans of most ages due to a strong feeling of anxiety when I’m around them.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a baby or a teenager, the anxiety builds until I get away or I panic.  I don’t understand them and I don’t have the patience necessary to be around little humans. 

Last night there was an exception.  My roommate and I met for dinner with Christine and her besties family.  I sat next to their six year old son while his parents sat across the table.  I took it upon myself to entertain this child since his parents were busy with his little brother.  I couldn’t stand looking at him sitting all alone with his parents giving most of their attention to his younger brother.  I’m sure he’s used to it and has found ways to entertain himself. 

Growing up the younger child, I was the one who always got the attention while my sister had to help my mother with me.  I’m empathetic to this little human and his new responsibilities placed upon him at such a young age.  He deserves to be doted on like his little brother, and for a short time I wanted to do this for him.  Maybe I felt like it was my duty to make up for all the times my sister changed my diaper, made me breakfast, and gave me a new bottle.  I’m not sure, but I saw in this child a young adult in a tiny body that needed a little bit of extra attention, and I was able to offer it.  He needed an hour to be able to act like the six-year-old that he is.

Amazingly, I didn’t feel the normal anxiety that I have when I’m near a small human like him.  Together we worked on the puzzles and colored the children’s placemat provided by the restaurant.  I helped him unscramble the words and learn his letters.  It was fun and he got excited with every new activity we found on the little piece of paper.  Watching his smile and his eyes light up with joy was incredible and made me feel just as happy.

When the activities were complete, I pulled out my phone.  I have no apps on my phone for children, of course, so I figured I’d download a free one or two.  As soon as he saw Candy Crush on my phone, that was it.  Daniel, in all his excitement, went wild and wanted to play.  Since I have been stuck on one particular level for a day now and can’t seem to get past it I figured this can’t hurt.  What does the little human do?  He conquers the level I can’t get past.  Sigh…

I helped him order his food and when we received it, I cooled it down for him.  At six, he is pretty much self-sufficient so he ate on his own – this is either a product of good parenting or being the older sibling.  I gave him some of my mac-n-cheese and watched him eat his quesadilla.  I felt like the Grinch whose heart was two sizes too small and now ballooned with love and fascination for this little human – at least temporarily.

Overall, I had a great night.  I was amazed at my ability to remain calm and amuse this child.  Does this make me want to have children or entertain the idea of becoming a mother?  No.  Little humans in small doses are all I need.  Later in the evening, I’m pretty sure I felt my heart shrink back down to its normal size.