While I enjoy daylight savings time, I hate the time
change. I’m sure it messes me up just as
much as the rest of you. This week I
haven’t wanted to get out of bed and I’ve been late for work every day. Luckily my job doesn’t have a formal
attendance policy and I can come and go as I need as long as I am at work
roughly between 7am and 4pm. It’s nice
to have this casual atmosphere and helps make me a more productive employee to
not have a boss breathing down my neck.
Lately I’ve been trying to be sure I take a more formal
approach with my language and etiquette when speaking to Dominants as it worries
me when I appear disrespectful. Some of
the conversations I have had recently have sparked my desire to be a better submissive
and reminded me of what type of relationship I wish to have with a Dominant. I have a tendency to lose formality with a
Dominant-type as I get to know him and it bothers me. I get comfortable, even with friendship, and
I forget my submissive role.
Moving on to more thoughts…
Some of you may wonder, why D/s? I need structure in my life. I do not handle ambiguity well. If the situation is not clearly black and
white, I struggle and it weighs me down emotionally. In a D/s relationship, or at least the type I
am looking for, there are clear cut rules and protocols to follow. This helps me stay focused on the relationship
and communicate better with my Dominant.
It’s not all about the kink. Yes,
I love the kinky part of the BDSM but I separate that in my head and
compartmentalize it. My thoughts are the
relationship isn’t all about sex or SM, and sex/SM doesn’t make the
relationship.
I had the vanilla relationship and there was no clear cut
role between the two of us. This caused
communication to break down and the relationship to follow. There cannot be uncertainty as this creates a
rift between the individuals. I am a
very communicative person. I am not shy
with my feelings, thoughts, or desires.
Some men, and even women, in the vanilla world are incapable of properly
communicating or understanding why it is so important. These types of people have a challenging time
with comprehending my need to communicate and therefore it doesn’t work.
Communication is a two-way street. I want to be able to exchange my thoughts and
desires with my Dominant at an intellectual level and I want him to communicate
right back with me. Yes, I know men are
from Mars and women are from Venus. We have
two completely different communication styles.
However, in this lifestyle emphasis is placed on communication to make
healthy, long lasting relationships. In
the vanilla world, it’s almost as if communication is a secondary attribute and
not as important for success. Why is
this?
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