Weekend Recap Part 2 - Stone Mountain and Othello

The next morning I woke up much earlier than Paul around 6 AM.  Not wanting to stay in bed I got dressed and made my way to the gym.  I found their elliptical machines which looked like I would be piloting the Starship Enterprise.  I did my typical 20 minutes of cardio and jumped off to find some strength training machines. 

Next to me was a platform I could use to work my hamstrings.  It felt great.  I locked my feet into the platform and bent at the waist forward to let my upper body hang.  My spine stretched when I do this and it feels really good.  I did a few sets and didn't think anything of it then went on to work my upper body.

I stopped for coffee before heading back to the room.  I showered up and got dressed, trying to remain as quiet as possible since Paul was not yet awake.  When I was done, I sat on my bed and all I could think about was a year ago my father lay dying in a hospice in Austin, TX.  I kept imagining what his body must have looked like during the death process over and over again.  I even imagined what he looked like in the crematorium being burned to ashes.  See, my mind goes to these dark and horrible places when I’m depressed.

At this point the crying started and I couldn’t stop it.  Paul was still asleep in the bed next to me and I was afraid I would wake him but I desperately needed him.  I needed his comfort and his arms around me to help me get past this darkness.  This is why I didn’t travel alone.  I knew this would happen.  I knew my thoughts would go to this dark place and I wouldn’t be able to find my way out.  It happens often.

I kept pacing back and forth as quietly as I could in the room trying to talk myself out of this gloom but it wasn’t working.  Finally I sat next to Paul’s bed, whispered his name and asked to crawl into bed with him.  He opened his arms and I crawled in.  His body was warm from sleep and his arms around me felt so good.  I let it all go and cried into his shoulder.  It felt good to be in his arms - safe and protected.

I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to my father.  I didn’t even know he was sick.  It wasn’t until he had a few hours left and already sedated that his wife notified my aunt he was dying who then called me.  He was spiteful like that.  He wasn’t always a good man, but he was my father.  I know he was afraid my sister and I would try to get closure for the past by calling him out for the terrible things he has done.  Unfortunately, I wouldn’t have done that.  I would have offered him my forgiveness and love.  Forgiveness is the beginning of closure.

So here I am, crying into Paul’s shoulder desperately holding on to him wishing he could take away this pain.  After a half hour or so of this my sobs turned to small shudders and finally the crying stopped.  He continued holding me while trying to soothe the pain away until it was time to wake up.

We finally got ourselves together and took off for Stone Mountain for the day.  We stopped for breakfast in a suburb of Atlanta.  Since Paul was driving I have no idea where we were.  Then we made it to Stone Mountain and had to pay $10 to park.  TEN DOLLARS!  What?!?!?!?  This is NOT Disney World!  Why are we paying so much to park???  Well, at least it is open.  The National Parks are currently closed due to the partial government shutdown of 2013 (Thank you Congress!). 

When we got to the amusement area I looked up at the carving and I thought it should have been bigger.  I was here 20 years ago with my family and honestly thought the carving was much larger.  Maybe it was because I was so young and much smaller?

Now it’s time to get to the top of the mountain.  Oh boy.  We could either walk up the trail (nope) or take the aerial tram.  We opted for the tram, or at least I opted for the tram.  It seemed to be at the time the lesser of two evils, but I have a severe fear of heights.  Then add on the moving tram stuffed full of people hanging by a few steel cables and we have a perfect anxiety storm.

Well, I’m writing this blog post so obviously we made it.  It wasn’t pretty but I did it with very little panicking on my part.  I wasn’t comfortable with the ride and once we got to the top and saw the next tram make it up I decided right then that we would be walking down.

The top of the mountain was beautiful.  Other than a few people speaking, it was quiet and peaceful.  I sat down on the granite while Paul walked to the edge to get some pictures.  The sun was warm and the wind cooled us at the same time.  It was an amazing feeling.  Paul thankfully didn’t fall over the edge of the mountain and returned to where I was sitting.  He sat with me for a while enjoying the wind and sun as well.

It’s time like this that I feel harmony in my soul.  I love being in nature.  It’s peaceful to be alone with my thoughts and feel the energy of nature all around me.  It is one of the few times I don’t feel as if my thoughts are running a muck inside my head.  It is almost as if my mind is quieted while nature recharges my soul.

After some time we finally decided to grab water and make our way back down the mountain.  It was a rockier than I had thought it would be.  I’m not sure if I had motion sickness or the beginnings of heat stroke but my stomach started churning and I was afraid I would have to throw up.  I kept drinking water but that didn’t help.  Paul kept asking if I needed a break but if I had stopped I was afraid I wouldn’t get started again.

Once we got to the bottom about 30 minutes later we sat down for a moment so that Paul could find the parking lot on the map.  It was then my stomach started to finally settle but it was a close call.  We walked about another mile to the car and drove back to the hotel to rest before show.

Again, I curled up with Paul.  I rested my head on his hip while he rubbed my back.  I just can’t get enough of him touching me this way.  It felt really good and I wanted his fingers directly on my skin.  I finally got the courage to ask if he minded I take off my shirt (our relationship is not sexual, as much as I would like it to be).  He didn’t mind and feeling his fingers brush my bare skin was incredibly soothing.

We showered and headed to The Atlanta Shakespeare Tavern.  A few weeks ago we saw The Taming of the Shrew at the Orlando Shakespeare Festival and I enjoyed it.  Tonight's performance is a tragedy so I was a little concerned if I would like it or not.  I did read the synopsis of Othello before tonight so I had a pretty good idea of what to expect.

Dinner was at the tavern.  It was descent but nothing to write home about.  I had the stilton salad and the chili.  I would have preferred the chili vegetarian but it was still pretty good – and much bigger than anticipated.

My caloric intake today didn't matter.  By the end of the day I had reached over 20,000 steps and burned over 4,000 calories.  *Thank you fitbit*  I was eating for pleasure today rather than watching my calories.  I still ate reasonable, but the total calories really didn't matter in the end.

The performance was good.  The actress playing Desdemonia had an incredible singing voice.  The actor playing Othello was a little too happy and emotional for me.  I wanted to see a bigger, stronger male lead rather than a sappy fool.  Oh well.

The rest of the night was uneventful.  We walked back to the hotel and slipped into our beds.  The next morning we would be heading home.  I really didn’t want the weekend to end.

On the way home we stopped at the Smokin’ Pig in Valdosta – one of Paul’s favorites.  I fell asleep just south of the Florida-Georgia line and woke up just north of Ocala.  We had been listening to an audio book but since I fell asleep I don’t recall most of it.

When we reached Paul’s place I gave him one last hug.  I didn’t want it to end.  I always feel like I’ll never see him again and it makes me sad.  I wanted to kiss him but I was too chicken.  I’m always too chicken.