Back To Gym Class

In my quest to get healthy I decided to try out a new gym and take a Body Pump class last night.  I’ve done Body Pump classes in the past, and I really loved them.  I’m not fit and flexible enough to do every single workout but I do give it my all.  I purchased a Groupon voucher for 10 fitness glasses to Gold’s gym.  I figured this would be a great way to get started.

If you’ve never done a Body Pump class, it is essentially an aerobics class geared around the use of barbells and weights.  During the class, the participant will go through approximately 70-100 repetitions per body part.  It is intense to say the least.

I met my friend Brian at the gym after signing up.  We got all of our class items together and moved to the front, near the instructor.  My upper body is pretty strong, but my lower body needs work; mainly because of my feet.  I have plantar fasciitis in both feet which causes a lot of pain.  As we did squat and lunges, the downward pressure created intense discomfort in my arches and I had to stop to shake out my feet often.  I didn’t let that deter me and I kept going.

We eventually moved to the ground and worked out our chests with the bar bell.  This is always complicated because now I’m unable to see the instructor and follow her movement.  I found myself doing several single repetitions moving the barbell up in down.  Thank goodness no one else could see me.

Now back up to do back.  I LOVE working my back muscles.  Most people might find this to be awkward but I enjoy it.  I love the pinching of the muscles in my back and the growing strength.  My only problem is the constant downward pressure on my arches again so I couldn’t keep up completely.

At some point we get to more floor routines.  This includes push-ups and dips (using the step bench).  I cannot do push-ups without being on my knees and no way can I do dips.  I’m just too large at the moment and not only do I not have the muscle but also my size prevents me from being able to complete the movement.  I’m sure if I actually try it, it wouldn’t be so bad but I my fear of being a failure crawled into my head and I didn’t even try.  The instructor of course called me out - in front of everyone.  Can we say embarrassed?

I tried a modified version but that just wasn’t working for me at all.  Plus my step bench and mat were wobbling around which made me wonder, did I put it together correctly?  I wasn’t going to stop to try to check it and show the rest of the class that I didn’t know what I was doing.  I’m not going to be THAT girl.  No way.  Again, this is my self-consciousness coming through and my low self-esteem.

We finally finished the workout.  I felt great.  My muscles were sore, but no pain-no gain right?  I knew I was going to wake up and be stiff before I even left the gym.  As soon as I sat down in my car, the sweat on my warm back jolted me forward.  I laughed at myself.

Brian and I went for dinner.  I had grilled salmon with broccoli and asparagus.  This was a good ending to a stressful day at work.

This morning, like I predicted, my muscles are stiff and sore.  I feel weak and I would love to crawl back into bed all day.  Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen.

A Day of Apathy

I had no desire to speak to anyone yesterday.  I made it to work but I did as little as possible.  For most of the day I wrote, read Facebook along with my favorite blogs and listened to music.  I didn't really care what was going on around me.  My co-worker mentioned I was quiet and asked what was wrong.  What can I say?  I have cycled heavily for the past two months and now I feel drained.  Mood cycles up and down as rapidly and frequently as I have been having is hard on my mind and body.  Some days I just want to give up, put my life in someone else's hands and just... be.  Let someone else pilot this body for a while.  Unfortunately, that's not going to happen.

For breakfast I made a couple pieces of turkey bacon along with two pumpkin pancakes.  I brought them to work with me and used sugar-free syrup.  With my coffee, my breakfast was a total of 359 calories.  Lunch was left over salmon over a bed of greens and homemade dijon vinaigrette.  Total calories for lunch was 402.  Dinner I baked lemon chicken with whole grain lemon orzo (it was a lemon kinda night).  Total calories for dinner that included a Skinny Cow mint ice cream sandwich was 701 calories.

Overall my food intake was pretty good.  I ate all my allotted calories for the day which felt great.  I even went to the gym and did 20 minutes on the elliptical and 10 minutes of pumped up strength training with my upper body.  Rather than resting and taking my time when I'm strength training I push harder and quicker with the weights.

Since I started running on the elliptical for my exercise and taking the stairs daily at work my quadriceps have been inflamed.  Last night was no exception.  I laid in bed and they were so sore I couldn't sleep.  All I wanted was for someone to massage them with eucalyptus oil so that I could rest and go back to sleep.  Add on to that the pressure that I've had in my head for the past two days and I nearly started crying.  It took me a while but I finally got back to sleep.  This morning, my quads hurt just as much as last night.  I've already taken naproxen sodium and acetaminophen to try and help.

Later this morning I have an appointment with a new psychiatrist.  I finally broke down and decided to make an appointment to talk about medications again.  I've suffered from bipolar disorder (cyclothymia), ADHD, and generalized anxiety disorder for years.  I've been able to cope on my own but lately it feels like I am not able to any longer.  I'm cycling far too much and I've had way too many anxiety attacks over the last couple months.  It's starting to affect my quality of life.  I don't want to be drugged up.  I don't like how it makes me feel - numb.  We'll see what he has to say.

Weekend Recap Part 2

Sunday I woke up very early - I just couldn't sleep past 6am.  The night before I went grocery shopping and bought the ingredients to make pumpkin pancakes.  It is fall after all.  The twist is that I am making these pancakes healthy.  Instead of processed white flour I am using unbleached whole grain flour.  I also bought turkey bacon to go with the pancakes.  I’m not a big fan of bacon, especially turkey bacon, but I wanted a healthy protein for my breakfast.

Pumpkin Pancakes Per Serving:

214 Calories

41 Carbs

2g Fat

10g Protein

350mg Sodium

3g Sugar

I felt pretty good with my breakfast.  It was still pretty early when I finished breakfast.  My head was filled with pressure and I was still very emotional from being in a down swing so I decided rather than feel sad for myself that I would try to get some exercise in the hopes it would make me feel better.  I did my normal 20 minutes (still working on endurance) on the elliptical but I just didn't feel like doing any strength training today and my mood was not changed.  As I got in the shower I was reminded again of my dad and I cried.  Maybe I'll make some cookies and visit a fire station this weekend.

The entire morning I just kept telling myself to not let myself get down and to keep moving.  I picked up peaches from the farmers market the day before with the intent of making jam so I figured I'll go get the supplies needed.  

The best place for canning supplies is Wal-Mart.  Oh how I loathe Wal-Mart.  I absolutely hate the store.  As I drive through the parking lot I am reminded why.  There are some very strange people that shop at Wal-Mart and most seem to be stupid idiots.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are some very intelligent, nice people that shop at Wal-Mart.  However, it seems that when most people pull into the parking lot they lose their ability to think logically and with common sense.  Add on the parents with screaming, wandering children and I just cringe.

I successfully make it in and out of Wal-Mart with my canning supplies without a major incident.  It was a close call a few times but I managed to not get touched or yell at anyone.  I'm quite proud of myself.  

I venture on to Publix and pick up items for lunch.  Staying on the path to weight loss, I picked up whole grain Rye, lettuce and tomato.  I figured I'll make a BLT with the turkey bacon I have at home.  I also picked up some veggie chips from the farmers market to go with my yummy sandwich.

BLT on Toasted Rye with Dried Veggie Chips (Hellmans low-fat mayo)

312 Calories

32 Carbs

12g Fat

13g Protein

917mg Sodium

0 Sugar

I discovered while in the grocery store that whole grain rye has fewer calories and carbs then whole grain flour bread.  I silently did a little happy dance because I love me some rye bread!  This sandwich was so yummy.  I could have eaten a second one and been a happy girl.

I rested for a little while and then decided to make the jam.  Instead of regular jam, I wanted a healthy alternative so I found a recipe on Splenda's website for no-sugar added peach jam.  I've made many jams but I've never made a jam with Splenda before.  This was going to be a first.  Usually when making jam the amount of sugar added double's the volume of the fruit added.  Because I was adding just a 1/2 cup, it only made four half-pint jars.  I was a little disappointed but in the end it tasted phenomenal!  Of course I had to taste it with a slice of the yummy rye bread.  

No Sugar Added Peach Jam
Serving Size - 1 tablespoon
10 Calories
0g Fat
5mg Sodium
3g Carbs
1g Sugars

Overall the day was productive.  I like when my days are productive.  It helps normalize my moods and that is always a good thing.  I had a salmon filet and roasted brussel sprouts for dinner.  I finished the night with a Skinny Cow Mint Ice Cream Sandwich and a movie.

Daily Total

1608 Calories

151 Carbs

69g Fat

95g Protein

2717mg Sodium (little high)

27g Sugar

I felt great at the end of my day.  I stayed moving and went to the gym, I ate healthy, and I finished the jam.  

Two weeks ago I purchased bath salts from Fresh Market.  I made up a mixture that was recommended in the store to help me sleep so I decided to try it.  WOW! It actually helped.  I made a mixture of spearmint, grapefruit and eucalyptus.  My skin felt incredible and my muscles seemed to melt under my skin.  I got in bed after my bath and I was OUT.  I usually wake several times in the night but last night I slept hard until 6am.  I woke feeling great.